There are two typical parenting styles: One is the rescuing parent. This involves hovering and rescuing the child from all possible harm, which results in a child that is incompetent and fearful. The other style is the drill sergeant parent. This involves barking out orders like “because I said so!” or “you will, if you know what’s good for you!”. This results in a child that is either compliant or rebellious, but is still incapable of making consciously chosen decisions in life. A better way of parenting involves instilling a set of values, offering choices and allowing natural consequences-not rescuing, not shaming.
I highly recommend 2 books for learning how to raise happy, competent children with considerably less stress than with typical parenting strategies. Both books are by Foster Cline and Jim Fay:
Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility ©1990 and
Parenting TEENS With Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood ©1992.